Crazy Lady Monday!

Today's crazy lady is the newest member of our inner circle. The one, the only: Abbey Mars Esther Lopes Delgado. That is one crazy bitch! As you can see she is thrilled with the title. Abbey gets her third name (Esther) from her Godmother Madonna, but gets her crazy from her new mom! New mom is under the impression that all puppies do is sleep. Little does she know it is more of a hibernation...a rejuvenation technique if you will, designed to save up just enough energy to drive you mad.

For Your Big Mouth!

Yay! I saw an ad for this product the other day and was so excited! Okay, so a few years ago, YSL had this lipstain that was like a magic marker. I LOVED it, but apparently I was the only one, since they discontinued it. Boohoo. Well, now Cover Girl has a cheapo version that works just as well! It is called Outlast Lipstain.

It comes in several colors, but beware that they seem to go on darker than they appear. I bought a mauve-y color (No. 400), and it is a very natural pink. Wear lipgloss over it for shine, but the stain should last most of the day - stay tuned!

I'm Back!

Sorry to leave my followers without fresh posts for the past couple months. I have been on hiatus (read: eating) for the past two months! Spring is coming and I am so fat, so time to starve again - yay!

Website of the WEAK!

We at Things j'Adore loooove dresses, and we especially love ugly dresses, but only when we aren't the ones wearing them! This week's Website of the WEAK pays homage to the ugly dress, with a concentration on bridesmaid dresses.

Enjoy!

Above you will see a rare group photo of my faithful followers, all dressed up rainbow-style for some frienemies wedding!

What Has Become of Gentlemen?

Someone PLEASE tell me!

As many of you know, I take public transportation into the city every day. Aside from being annoyed with every-single-person around me, there is one group that stands out in particular: men. I see this ALL the time; an older woman, a woman with a baby, or even a prego will get on the bus and suddenly the men are totally blind! They sit there staring straight ahead and 99.999% of the time it is another woman that will get up to offer her seat. This drives me MAD! Oh, and before any man comments (not that there is one that reads this site!) that this is the equality women wanted, let me just tell you that you even thinking that way proves you to be the rube (shout out to Sue for re-introducing me to this brilliant word!) we all think you are (ya that's right all 7 of us - me and my 6 blog followers). Why not be a stand out from the other humps on the bus and offer your seat to a woman who looks like she needs it more than you?

You KNOW that these guys are the same ones that would push you out of their way if the bus caught on fire, right? A la George Costanza! He really isn't the person after whom you should model your life. SO - Decide who you want to be: a gentleman, or Costanza.

Alright Sorry, I took a hiatus!

Okay, so I took some time off from writing (read: I have been too busy eating) over the holidays, which apparently were extended until today! Until one of my faithful followers (Yay Sue!), called me yesterday begging for more! She need a fix of crazy-lady Monday, which too bad for her will need to wait until Monday! No worries, there are plenty of crazy-ladies to go around!

Pssst - I little birdie (named Sue) told me that Sue was actually a crazy-lady this past Monday, so to avoid this happening again I will try to write regularly!

SO even though it is Thursday, this week's honorary crazy-lady is Sue!

I DON'T Need That!

If your sweetheart ever invites you on a cruise...don't go! Especially if you suspect he secretly hates you! It is a trick! It is allll the rage now to throw your spouse overboard! Yikes!

There are normally no clues or trace that you threw them to the sharks, so everyone gets away with it! There are always the claims that they fell overboard by accident...oops! I have been on many cruises, and have never fallen overboard by accident...and trust me it wasn't from a lack of trying (read: drinking).

If I can't fall overboard no one can! There are sites devoted to missing cruise passengers and all kinds of onboard goings-on!

Crazy Lady Monday!

Welcome to the last crazy lady Monday of 2008!

This week's crazy lady (and the term is used loosely) is none other than...Chyna Doll! She gets this dubious distinction not because of her performance on both Surreal life and Celebrity Rehab, but her performance in REAL LIFE! This past weekend she celebrated her birthday by getting bombed, cutting herself, and being hauled off to the hospital. That is always fun, I should know! After all of this, all Chyna had to say was

"All I really want right now is a hamburger and fries right now"

Brilliant! I agree that probably is all she needed; when you are so bombed that your friends call the ambulance to get you, a hamburger and fries makes it right every time! Except Iwould have also asked for my bed, so I could eat my hamburger and fries in my bed, then immediately pass out until my hangover wakes me with a kiss!

An Accident Waiting to Happen!

Latisse is a new product recently approved by the FDA that is said to promote eyelash growth, resulting in longer, fuller lashes! Yay! you might say, but hold up! A 30 day supply (for $120) is comprised of small disposable doses that you need to apply to the base of your eyelashes.

Pricey...but a great idea, no? NO! The fine print reveals that Latisse can promote hair growth on any skin surface it touches! I can see it now, me being too too careful trying to keep the applicator steady...steady...steady - then spilling a vat of it all over myself, resulting in instantaneous hair growth all over me! I am scared!

Website of the WEAK!

How fun is this?

Click here to go to a site where you can take a simple picture of any face and turn it into an old person, a baby, a half-ape, or a painting by a famous master! Several to choose from!

I think the setting I used on my photo was a Botticelli. If I had any nerve at all I would post the one of me as half an ape...maybe later. Unless you thought this picture WAS the half-ape setting? Nice.

As usual, I was curious to know how my Ernest would look if I doctored his photo. Believe it or not, the first photo has not been doctored at all. For those of you who do not know him, this is my Ernest! Yay Ernest makes his big debut! I chose to commission my Ernest's portrait from the Amadeo Madigliani setting. See below: somehow Ernest morphed into an Asian woman...go figure!

Okay, In the interest of science and laughter, I will post my ape-girl picture! I expect you all to send me samples of your completed transformations!

Hello gorgeous! Have fun!